Friday, 18 February 2011

The Dull Desperadoes

I have a love-hate relationship with my Dark Elf Blood Bowl Team, The Drow Desperadoes. When they play well they can be devestating, with their Agility ("AG")4, good armour and speed. But when they play badly  - man it can be hard work and the "1" on that D6 just seems to turn up at the wrong time.

So after the Dwarrow Boys had struggled to their draw last time against Alan's own Dark Elf team , when  I heard he was going to pay with his newly finished Khemri team, I thought I would bring the DElfs back out to play. The last time I played a Khemri team was at the Tritex Blood Bowl tournament at Game09 in  Manchester when I won 6-0 (against the guy who lost all 6 of his games and when picking up his wooden spoon award announced to the audience that we should "fear his crappness!"). So I felt confident that I could get a good result against these animated piles of bones.

"Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones, dem bones, dem bones, dem..." - ok u get the idea.

Game got off to a great start. The DD's kicked off got a good bounce so that the ball ended up on the Khemri left wing on the sideline, a couple of squares from the centre line. Kick Off table roll - a "10". Free blitz move for the DD's so I flooded the area round the ball and my Star Runner, Runforez Run, moved under the ball to catch it and rolled a "1".

OK, I thought not great, but still I have tacklezones round the ball and the game hadn't even officially started. The DD's moved downfield on their first turn after Runforez did eventually manage to pick up the ball but the Khemri were still able to get a 1 die block on him in  their turn 2. But I had planned for that and put my star Lineman, Cala Hom, free a few squares from the touchzone to receive Runforez's dump off pass and thus thwart the Khemri blitz. However, the dump off pass was not accurate and so after bouncing about for a bit ended up in a square which was covered by a Khemri tackle zone. Not to be denied, in the DD's turn 2, my star Blitzer, Slize N'Dize, picked up the ball and handed off to Cala who strode in for a Turn 2 touchdown. This was going to be a dawdle, I thought. Especially when on the next kick off result, there was a riot and the game clock went back a turn so now the Khemri were just starting their turn 2 again.

The ball bounced deep into the Khemri half into their touchzone, so plenty of space for the DD's to try and get downfield and cut off the attempted pass, which Alan would no doubt be tempted to do given the general lack of speed on the Khemri team. But instead of the quick incisive thrust downfield that I was expecting, things got inexplicably bogged down and the DD's seemed to be getting nowhere fast. The Khemri started to move the ball down their right wing, while the DD's seemed to find it easier to trip over their own feet, with the number of "Defender Stumbles" results that Alan was rolling. Alan had the chance for an ambitious play with his thro-ra moving to the halfway line, and looking to make quick pass to a Skele who was in the clear and could have shambled down the DD half to hand off to the bitz-ra who was ready to stroll into the touchzone. But the curse of the Khemri struck - the AG2, no re-roll, and the ball was dropped by the Skele and bounced to land in the square between the 2 Khemri players.

A chance for a DD blitz moved the thro-ra away from the ball, a pick up by the star Lineman, Sleekit G'It, a pass to Runforez Run and the DD's were away down their left wing. Runforez  handed off to star Lineman, Hasky Draskie who raced home for the score, 2-0 to the DD's.

Hasky Draskie's fine score in the DD's turn 6 of the first half.

The first half petered out without any further score, but by the end of the half, 2 DD blitzers were in the KO box, and their Star Blitzer, Feliz Fasta, was in the hospital wing. Still, I would be receiving at the start of the second half, a quick score would make it 3-0 and there would be no way back for the Khemri.

But, of course, I was arrogantly, forgetting the "1's". And they came, thick and fast....

The second half, started with the DD's driving down their right wing. Then, they were forced centre field and started to fall down.......

That was as close as the DD's got for the rest of the second half to the Khemri touchzone. And although, the Khemri themselves failed to score a deserved touch down (due once again to the AG2 failing them at the crucial moment), they did have the satisfaction of almost clearing the pitch of Drow

So a final score of 2-0 to the DD's and while a win is a win, it could have been so much more glorious. Thankfully, this wasn't a league game as of the 5 Drow that ended up in the Hopital Wing the 2 Blitzers ended up with strength busts and 1 of the Linemen with an armour bust so not a pretty state to be in.

Alan says he will stick with the Khemri for next week's game, so in a fit of masochistic madness, I'm going to borrow Ruarok's Goblin Team.

That way when I keep rolling "1's" at least I can say -"Well what else would you expect from a Goblin???!!!"


  1. ............Hasky Draskie? O_o

    as punishment for that, you may use my goblin team :) but only if you blog about the match using their appropriate names ^_^

  2. If you can provide me with a team roster with their full names then I shall happily publicise the products of your disturbed mind.....